What are words 281216

3rd last day of 2016...
This is so fking surreal
Like I can't believe that one whole year just flew past like that

2016 really feels like it has been 3 years long

The 7 months before school started were just a jumble of juggling shitty jobs and trying to stay in touch with my friends while everyone seemed to be moving on with their lives. And then there was the whole uncertainty about uni apps, the scholarship applications, the internship, the disappointment when I realised I would be stuck in sg for 5 years (turned out not so bad after all I guess but it still kinda sucks coz going to uni abroad was one of my greatest motivations to work hard during A levels lol), the dilemma about which course I wanted to do (I was seriously choosing between archi and biz, like I applied to both courses!!!), the dilemma about which school I wanted to go to...... etc......

I think 2016 was a year full having to make hard decisions because every decision I make could really shape my life so differently. But reflecting on this year, I would say that I do not regret any of my academic choices even if archi is on another level of insane to go through......

2016 was also definitely a year of growing up. If anything, JC felt like eons ago and I would say that I am definitely significantly different in quite a number of ways. Even though I lived in boarding in J2 (on my own), living on campus this past sem is definitely really different because there is so much more freedom (which is a good and bad thing). I think this year, esp the past 4 months have really just been me being pushed to my limits and surviving (barely but still alive haha). Will never forget my one and only overnighter this sem (I tried to sleep at least 2 hours every night haha) where we chionged our tropicality model only to have it collapse coz we were stupid and forgot to use a fking sturdy base (impt!!!!!! sharms pls nvr forget ever again!!!!! o m g hahaha fk). Also how Hillz, Justin, Weij and I rushed our portfolio (or final parts of our portfolios haha) 2 days before the dateline at Studio Hilly hahaha (do not go to West Coast Plaza printing shop it sucks!!!)": ) Also recruiting my non-archi friends to help me cut score pvc strips (hahaha) for models, thanks guys<3 oh ya oh ya and going to tgiw with the batch 4 days before structurals exams hahaha..... And hanging out at YIH (albeit studying) with the YIH gang who never fail to make me laugh and to feed me at 4am when I am dying as usual... And ryan for all the times we force (actually its just Kai forcing hahah) u to help us buy ameens and jessie getting so annoyed by the guys hahaha and ben going on about amazing race or angel and mortals hahaha..... There are many many other little moments and inside jokes that have helped make my semester really enjoyable despite the fact that archi+rvrc is really quite an insane workload (for me la, maybe its easy for some ppl haha..... :|)

And before sch started! The China trip!!! One of my favorite trips ever coz I loved the scenery like having towns carved around the tower karsts (Landscape) is just freaking picturesque and the whole experience where we rode scooters, visited waterfalls, climbed up hills to look at rice fields, went thru many many caves (hehe sorry being nerdy right now coz ex-geog student lol), took a boat ride from guilin to yangshuo, visited local chinese bars.... oh ya we also stopped over in hk for one night first and it was my first time in hk ever and I loved it too! hehe ok it sounds damn boring but I loved it hahaha

ok I'm tired of typing haha I know my moments I loved about 2016 may sound damn sad la like it's just supper and datelines and rice fields but fk it
these are my fav moments and I just want to record them down for me hehe (;

What are words: 310516

Trying to be brave... But it's so hard)":

This is just how the world works I guess.

What's even real anymore?

Who's even genuine now?

What Are Words: 2016 so far

So it's been 5 months into 2016 and I just want to lament at how freaking quickly time just flies and how time is really relentless. It doesn't matter if you are having a blast or if you're falling into the pits of despair but it just goes on and the rest of the world moves on even if you are stuck in a mess.

But these 5 months... Wow I have honestly grown so so much. I've had to make some incredibly tough choices which I still do not know if they will pay off in any way or if I will regret them at all but I am not going to think about that right now... I just will live with the choices I have made and trust in God that He will lead me to have an incredibly fulfilling life no matter which path I choose to take.

I have made countless bad choices and mistakes but honestly I've had almost no regrets for I feel like they help me realize what kind of person I truly am. I'm also very very thankful that I've managed to hold on to a tiny handful of friends who have truly been so amazing to me. They've been there even when I'm bawling my eyes out regretting the mistakes I've made, they've been there when I was panicking like crazy because whatever sh*t just happened could seriously mess up my life, they've been there at the best moments of these 5 months too(": If you do read this, thank you so so much, I've been so blessed to know y'all and I love you guys!

I think JC really brought out the extroverted side of me and now that it's all over, I've been retreating back into myself and I must say that I do not hate it! It was horribly hard becoming so extroverted in J1 like literally a 180 degree change from my introverted Sec 4 days like I couldn't stand being alone anymore and I was never really alone in the 2 years of JC anyway. But now that I am embracing my introverted side, I've been reading so much more and spending time alone but not being lonely and just really enjoying relaxing and being myself. I must say that I love it. I love being not as dependent on other people. I love that however my friends are feeling is less likely to affect me as drastically. I love how I can just go around making my plans as the day goes on and just be comfortable eating or chilling wherever alone because you can't really doing these things with a bunch of friends around you know?

Anyway I've had 2 jobs (both of which I'm done with LOL I really can't stand F&B for long... It's horrid...) and right now I'm kinda unemployed but I got fat again because of my crazy Soup Spoon hours so now gonna diet and gym it all off! I'm also gonna try to sketch more and try to sell of the rest of our Ambiance atomizers (lol well that failed spectacularly) and just try to have a good time before Uni starts hehe(":

The past 5 months have been a roller coaster ride of self discovery and I am just thankful that I do not have to serve NS (HAHA) and that I have this opportunity of having this tiny silver of time to rest and find myself!

What are words: Ramblings

And I tell him what he wants to hear

That I'm okay

I tell everyone what they want to hear

That I'm okay

Somehow, in everyone's eyes, nothing ever brings me down

I'm always okay

Even when I'm not

Why we lose friends

1. Priorities change. As you grow up, you tend to spend more and more time at work. You no longer have time to meet friends, friends who once meant the world to you. It’s only later in life that you realize life is incomplete without them, but it’s already too late.

2. We often forget that friendships can’t always be effortless. Making friends is easy, but keeping them is the hard part. Hanging out with them in college seemed easy because it was convenient. But as life moves on, we give up on friendships, we give up too easy. The friendship fades away and we accept it, instead of fighting it, because that’s so much more convenient.

3. Sometimes, it’s love that ruins friendships. When one of the two friends enters into a relationship, friendships are often forgotten. They may realize it later but things are never the same. We’ve all been there and done that too.

4. Our 20s are a tough time. We’re all trying to prove something to ourselves and the world. Some people get lucky; some have to struggle a lot more. When the two people who started from the same point find themselves at crossroads, insecurity creeps in. You’re happy that they’re more successful, except that you’re really not. You soon start drifting away because their presence in your life only makes you feel more miserable. Sometimes, it’s your own insecurity and other times, the circumstance is a b*tch.

5. The support and confidence our families cannot give us, we seek in our friendships. Our friends know us the best, don’t they? But a lot times, even your friends don’t support your life decisions. And that’s the reason why it becomes hard to be around them when their judgments become too sour and unforgiving. There’s nothing worse than a friend who bails out on you.

6. With some friends, you feel like you’re the only one making all the efforts. So, you let it go, because you don’t want to be ‘the clingy friend’, forgetting no relationship in this world is equal, that one person will always have to put in more efforts than the other. And nobody wants to be that person. We’d rather lose them than be the more involved one. Damn our egos!

7. Some friends are great to have. But they’re also toxic. There comes a point in life where you finally realize what a bad influence they are on you. And you decide you’re better off without them.

8. It becomes difficult for a lot of people to cope with the fact that their friends have made new friends. Being replaced is a terrible feeling, but it happens and it happens to the best of us. The more possessive we become, the more bitter it gets.

9. Sometimes, you just grow apart. The things you bonded over once don’t exist in your life anymore. You’re a changed person and so are they. Sometimes, you meet a friend after a long while and realize they haven’t grown up even one bit. The conversation becomes painfully forced and that’s the moment you know, the friendship’s kinda over.

10. It’s funny how we just cut off from our dearest friends and years later, when we’re going through old pictures on Facebook, we sit there wondering what really went wrong. It was probably a small argument. You brushed it under the carpet, they never talked about it too and slowly, the friendship died a slow death. Our non confrontational attitude, our habit of not talking about conflicts when it’s important, sometimes, costs us our best of friends.

From tumblr btw haha I didn't write any of this LOL

What are words 121215

It's hard because I think I'm fine and one event or item can trigger a recollection and then I'm not fine at all

What are words 111215

But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made 

I 'm staring at the mess I made 

I 'm staring at the mess I made 

As you turn, you take your heart and walk away 

And it's falling down, as you walk away 

And it's on me now, as you go