So it's been 5 months into 2016 and I just want to lament at how freaking quickly time just flies and how time is really relentless. It doesn't matter if you are having a blast or if you're falling into the pits of despair but it just goes on and the rest of the world moves on even if you are stuck in a mess.
But these 5 months... Wow I have honestly grown so so much. I've had to make some incredibly tough choices which I still do not know if they will pay off in any way or if I will regret them at all but I am not going to think about that right now... I just will live with the choices I have made and trust in God that He will lead me to have an incredibly fulfilling life no matter which path I choose to take.
I have made countless bad choices and mistakes but honestly I've had almost no regrets for I feel like they help me realize what kind of person I truly am. I'm also very very thankful that I've managed to hold on to a tiny handful of friends who have truly been so amazing to me. They've been there even when I'm bawling my eyes out regretting the mistakes I've made, they've been there when I was panicking like crazy because whatever sh*t just happened could seriously mess up my life, they've been there at the best moments of these 5 months too(": If you do read this, thank you so so much, I've been so blessed to know y'all and I love you guys!
I think JC really brought out the extroverted side of me and now that it's all over, I've been retreating back into myself and I must say that I do not hate it! It was horribly hard becoming so extroverted in J1 like literally a 180 degree change from my introverted Sec 4 days like I couldn't stand being alone anymore and I was never really alone in the 2 years of JC anyway. But now that I am embracing my introverted side, I've been reading so much more and spending time alone but not being lonely and just really enjoying relaxing and being myself. I must say that I love it. I love being not as dependent on other people. I love that however my friends are feeling is less likely to affect me as drastically. I love how I can just go around making my plans as the day goes on and just be comfortable eating or chilling wherever alone because you can't really doing these things with a bunch of friends around you know?
The past 5 months have been a roller coaster ride of self discovery and I am just thankful that I do not have to serve NS (HAHA) and that I have this opportunity of having this tiny silver of time to rest and find myself!
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