I need to actively try to get out of this emotional blackhole I'm in now. I'm just so drained every day from things going wrong all the time. The blow ystd about archi and my career was just so hard to take and sent me down another spiral. Should stop shutting down on my friends and refusing to talk to them because I want to close up. Should try to be normal because fake it till I make it right? It's just that... trying to be how I usually was is just so tiring I don't have the energy to do that anymore and I don't even want to. It's just that... in my head... I know I should. But there's nothing much left in me that wants to try anymore and that's what worries me... Sorry for incoherent thoughts but I don't rly care anymore because no one reads here anymore